The White House is Moving

It's a scene all of us can relate to: watching the news in dismay as presidents declare invasions, as they amplify bigotry, and as they dodge their duties in a well-kept vacation beach house. So, naturally, as the next election cycle approaches, blood pressures around the country seem to rise. But fellow citizens, this year you mustn't worry. As I have done my fair share of research, I can assure you that what I'm about to present to you is unprecedented in its efficiency. I suggest placing all US presidents - past, present, and future- in Siberia. We have had 43 total presidents, 38 of whom are dead. So that leaves us with just 5 remaining and one extra every four years. In case you're worried about having no leader in charge ( it doesn't really make a difference, it's not like they were getting anything done anyways), my Libyan contact assured me that we mustn't worry. They would be placed in a camp in the Siberia where all contact with the outer world is absent as to maintain the sanity and well-being- or what's left of it- of Americans and other nationalities alike. This camp would give the opportunity to reflect on the choices they have made during and after their presidency that have caused the world to deteriorate.Many amenities will be offered to them to facilitate this new chapter of their lives. Coats made from soft, silky materials will protect our presidents if they ever want to venture into the Siberian wild for some afternoon fun ( perhaps they have a tea date with Putin); if we're feeling extra merry, we could always use Donald Trump's hair ! This camp would ease the public life as they no longer have to deal with foolish decisions that presidents make. Also, we no longer need to waster $400,000 on a president's salary. Instead, we can help pay Kanye West's debt, which will take about 133 years. As the US seems to have money to wage wars and not fix water pipes, this can be an opportunity for the US to make some cash: a reality show. "Keeping up with the Presidents" could finally make the world understand America better. Am I the only one who would be a tad excited to see a Bush-Obama fight go down ?  The only objection that I can think of is that the White House would be vacant. Alas, no worries, Valentino's 5th hour class can take over.